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Lucy Mangan: Halloween’s now a fright night for all the wrong reasons

When I were a lass, children went trick-or-treating on their own, without any adult accompaniment. It wasn’t safe, of course, but no one knew that back then

Carved pumpkins in a circle at twilight around a pumpkin pie on Halloween night

There be demons: Parents go trick or treating with their children these days for very good reason. Photograph: Jim Corwin/Alamy

Ah, Halloween. It is, naturally, only as I have got older that I have come to appreciate the true function of such sociocultural rites. Which is, of course, to provide tangible, quantifiable proof (in case the daily headlines, the rise of Michael Gove and the fact that some turd has introduced a competition element into Gareth Malone‘s hitherto shining oeuvre were not enough) that the notion of history as a story of progression is naught but a phantasm that seeks to conceal the fact that the world is going to hell in a handcart.

When I were a lass, children went trick or treating on their own, without any adult accompaniment. We dressed up in black bin-liners, home- or Friday-afternoon-school-made witches’ hats, anything orange (we didn’t know why. I didn’t see a pumpkin until I was 21, in the garden of a posh friend from university – I thought the fecking Triffids had landed), facepaints or felt tip (to be scoured off with Vim, maternal vigour and a rough flannel, so that assembly was filled for the next week with the sound of children tap-tap-tapping experimentally at their full-face scabs) and knocked on doors. Householders would open them, stare down disbelievingly and close them again without saying a word. It was brilliant. We got to dress up, do something different, but all the normal rules still applied. Children like to know where they stand, even if it’s before a closed door damming a hallful of disapproval behind.

Over the next couple of decades, word got around – thanks largely to increased importation and consumption of US network TV – of how the whole thing was supposed to work. The most impoverished denizens of the most impoverished countries set to work with enforced will, making Halloween costumes of artfully tattered plastic, net and nylon to fill whatever supermarket space was left once the quotas of mince pies had been shelved. And all the adults in richer nations learned to play their sweet-dispensing part. Now I stand with a bowl of fun-sized Mars Bars in my hand and a short advisory speech about type-2 diabetes on my lips, waiting for the doorbell to ring.

But these days children go trick or treating only with grown-ups. The superintendents used to stay out of sight a few feet down the road or behind the nearest tree, to preserve the illusion that their charges were alone. But I notice that every year they have stood a little closer. First, they hovered at the gates of each house. Now, they usually come right up to the house and stand a few feet from the children, and carefully in the homeowner’s eyeline, to banish not the pagan fears of Allhallows Eve, but the horrors – real and imagined, but true enough either way – that lurk in the shadows waiting for our children each and every night.

It wasn’t safe, of course, when we went out as kids. At best, I suspect, our greater freedom was only the result of our guardians’ ignorance of the potential dangers to youth. But that is the closest thing we have to remember wistfully as innocence now. Just as the whispered warnings among us youngsters back then, of where the local creeps and weirdos hung out and which bus stops and park bushes were most favoured by flashers, will probably, not too many years from now, come to be glossed as “community spirit”.

Source: TheGuardian.co.uk

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What Are We Without Empathy?

Empathy
Empathy (Photo credit: TonZ)

I was watching the other day a documentary about a serial killer and how he tortured his victims. I hate such types of programs yet what interests me about them is how the criminals they talk about can ‘have the heart’ to hurt fellow human beings or even anything living at all. The documentary explained eventually that when the criminal’s brain was scanned, it was concluded that the special place for Empathy inside his brain had been damaged in an accident when he was a child, for which reason, he was feeling no pity nor repentance while committing those crimes.

This all drove me to wonder ‘WHAT are we without empathy?’, and the reason why I am choosing to use the word ‘what’ as opposed to ‘who’ is because the latter indicates that the individual is still considered a human being, which may entail that he or she may actually have feelings underneath the corrupted crust inside his or her brain.

So ‘what’ do we become without empathy?

In order to answer that, we should have a look at what Empathy means and entails.

Dr. Daniel Goleman in his world-famous book “Emotional Intelligence: Why EQ Matters More Than IQ” mentions an incident in Germany, whereby a bike driver had been hit by a car, and remained laying flat to the side of the road completely ignored. He said drivers in surrounding cars were looking at him without feelings/impressions on their faces awaiting their traffic lights to turn green.  It may seem surprising to you or to most of us, but obviously it wasn’t surprising to those fellow drivers who didn’t even care to take that poor biker to the hospital.

Some may say that in this day and age, chivalry has almost disappeared from our glossary. There may not be time for it basically. Also, since time equals money to most of us, then actions that may delay us, can be easily assessed as futile. Some may say that life has become all about money. Others may acknowledge that and still see that there are those who are considered leaders socially who always make this extra step that no one else seems willing to do, without asking anything in return, and despite the fact that he or she may be late to their appointments as a result.

So it boils down to one’s ethics too. So for example, if a manager appreciates the concepts of family, he may not accept that his employees remain after working hours trying to make ends meet, because he may value and acknowledge that his employees actually deserve a rest, family time and right to have a life. Therefore, meanwhile he may push his employees’ performance and urge them to progress with more passion, he would still remind them that work is just part of their lives, and not a reason to forget about life.

However, when we say ethics, we may associate that with a higher brain functionality, one that is totally contradictory to the basic needs (instincts) of a primitive mind. Yet in fact, ethics can also be an organic product of one’s feelings and one’s own level of emotional intelligence. It is like looking inward towards yourselves and emotions with the same lens, through which you look on other people’s feelings outside of you, thus, being able to establish an understanding or a connection between you and them. The more you learn to discern your emotions, the more expert you become in doing that, which in turn translates into better relationships and success in connecting with others. In other words, it is said that one who understands one’s own feelings is usually more effective in responding to other people’s feelings in return. This goes along the famous quote by Plato: “Know Thyself“.

So empathy basically is discerning your own emotions and learning to discern others’ the same way, to a degree that you put yourself in their place and imagine how it would be to be experiencing what they experience. Sounds too much, especially in this fast-paced age, but actually we see aspects of empathy wherever we go. As a matter of fact, it has been proven scientifically that we are wired for empathy. For example, if we watch someone down the street walking with a heavy stack of books or boxes, we automatically shrink our faces and imagine that we are the ones who are carrying that load.

Empathy is also proven to exit naturally in human from a very young age, like when a child sees another child that’s crying. It automatically starts crying too. If a child sees happy kids, he or she automatically starts mimicking that in return. Even most animals have different degrees of genuine empathy. We can see this in a mother animal caressing her children, or when we see two swans leaning their heads against one another forming a shape of a heart.

So how would a natural quality that allows humans, despite all of their differences (age, race, faith, gender, etc.) connect and unit with one another any time anywhere? How valuable is this unique quality to us? Are we willing to oppress it or improve it?  Is it worth stopping to help out someone who seems in dire need of help?

On the other hand, what happens if we oppress our own feelings of empathy? Does this make us less human? What would a person become without empathy? I was thinking of all these questions,and realized that human fixation can be as deep as a black hole. The more one looks inwards, the more experiences one is exposed to. It also depends on the way you are looking. For example, there are those who look inwards with a loner’s attitude, reminiscing of a happy past or negatively dwelling on how unlucky one had always been. The result of such perspective conjures up even more sadness, loneliness, sense of isolation and negativity. Also, too much inward fixation can lead to a major shift of attention to the outside world and the healthy human need to socialize with other people and integrate with new potential happy encounters. When one is too focused on pitying oneself, the less empathy one is going to feel for others, thus the more distant one may become to surrounding happenings and people around one or in the world.

Empathy is said to bring people closer to one another by being able to identify with each other’s feelings and needs. It is also said to be the mother of compassion. Alfred Adler described it as “seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”

Eyebrows can also help portray empathy.
Eyebrows can also help portray empathy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Eyebrows can also help portray empathy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the other hand, individuals with an abusive or aggressive past may lack empathy too, as their past experiences may have turned them into beast-like humans: aggressive, selfish or a victim to one’s own primitive instincts that once they get fulfilled, one may repetitively yearn for more. Some scientist once said such individuals become more like vampires or human predators. Vampires don’t have empathy, and the more they drain a human of blood, the more blood they crave.  However, both modes (the introvert and predator) can share one common tendency, which is to constantly seek sensual satisfaction through whichever way possible, and they can become not deterred by ethical or moral inhibitions that a healthy person shuns away from.

So all that brings us to the main question, which is the title of this article: What (not Who) Are We Without Empathy?
“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us “universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”  Albert Einstein

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It’s More Important to Be Kind than Clever

I’m sure most of us do acts of kindness on daily basis, yet we may not think much of them and may allow time to erase those valuable memories. I think, in addition to writing what we are grateful for, in a gratitude journal, we need to document any acts of kindness that we offer to others, no matter how small they are. It reminds us of who we ‘really’ are, and how we ‘truly’ express that. Don’t you think? 🙂 Read this by Bill Taylor about the importance of kindness as opposed to cleverness. Worth reading!

Source: HBR.org

It’s More Important to Be Kind than Clever

by Bill Taylor  |   9:00 AM August 23, 2012

One of the more heart-warming stories to zoom around the Internet lately involves a young man, his dying grandmother, and a bowl of clam chowder from Panera Bread. It’s a little story that offers big lessons about service, brands, and the human side of business — a story that underscores why efficiency should never come at the expense of humanity.

The story, as told in AdWeek, goes like this: Brandon Cook, from Wilton, New Hampshire, was visiting his grandmother in the hospital. Terribly ill with cancer, she complained to her grandson that she desperately wanted a bowl of soup, and that the hospital’s soup was inedible (she used saltier language). If only she could get a bowl of her favorite clam chowder from Panera Bread! Trouble was, Panera only sells clam chowder on Friday. So Brandon called the nearby Panera and talked to store manager Suzanne Fortier. Not only did Sue make clam chowder specially for Brandon’s grandmother, she included a box of cookies as a gift from the staff.

It was a small act of kindness that would not normally make headlines. Except that Brandon told the story on his Facebook page, and Brandon’s mother, Gail Cook, retold the story on Panera’s fan page. The rest, as they say, is social-media history. Gail’s post generated 500,000 (and counting) “likes” and more than 22,000 comments on Panera’s Facebook page. Panera, meanwhile, got something that no amount of traditional advertising can buy — a genuine sense of affiliation and appreciation from customers around the world.

Marketing types have latched on to this story as an example of the power of social media and “virtual word-of-mouth” to boost a company’s reputation. But I see the reaction to Sue Fortier’s gesture as an example of something else — the hunger among customers, employees, and all of us to engage with companies on more than just dollars-and-cents terms. In a world that is being reshaped by the relentless advance of technology, what stands out are acts of compassion and connection that remind us what it means to be human.

As I read the story of Brandon and his grandmother, I thought back to a lecture delivered two years ago by Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon.com, to the graduating seniors of my alma mater, Princeton University. Bezos is nothing if not a master of technology — he has built his company, and his fortune, on the rise of the Internet and his own intellect. But he spoke that day not about computing power or brainpower, but about his grandmother — and what he learned when he made her cry.

Even as a 10-year-old boy, it turns out, Bezos had a steel-trap mind and a passion for crunching numbers. During a summer road trip with his grandparents, young Jeff got fed up with his grandmother’s smoking in the car — and decided to do something about it. From the backseat, he calculated how many cigarettes per day his grandmother smoked, how many puffs she took per cigarette, the health risk of each puff, and announced to her with great fanfare, “You’ve taken nine years off your life!”

Bezos’s calculations may have been accurate — but the reaction was not what he expected. His grandmother burst into tears. His grandfather pulled the car off to the side of the road and asked young Jeff to step out. And then his grandfather taught a lesson that this now-billionaire decided to share the with the Class of 2010: “My grandfather looked at me, and after a bit of silence, he gently and calmly said, ‘Jeff, one day you’ll understand that it’s harder to be kind than clever.'”

That’s a lesson I wish more businesspeople understood — a lesson that is reinforced by the reaction to this simple act of kindness at Panera Bread. Indeed, I experienced something similar not so long ago, and found it striking enough to devote an HBR blog post to the experience. In my post, I told the story of my father, his search for a new car, a health emergency that took place in the middle of that search — and a couple of extraordinary (and truly human) gestures by an auto dealer that put him at ease and won his loyalty.

“What is it about business that makes it so hard to be kind?” I asked at the time. “And what kind of businesspeople have we become when small acts of kindness feel so rare?”

That’s what’s really striking about the Panera Bread story — not that Suzanne Fortier went out of her way to do something nice for a sick grandmother, but that her simple gesture attracted such global attention and acclaim.

So by all means, encourage your people to embrace technology, get great at business analytics, and otherwise ramp up the efficiency of everything they do. But just make sure all their efficiency doesn’t come at the expense of their humanity. Small gestures can send big signals about who we are, what we care about, and why people should want to affiliate with us. It’s harder (and more important) to be kind than clever.

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“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”
Thomas Merton

Are you an ambitious individual yet you are held back by self-doubt?

Are you wasting your time doing things you are not convinced of?

Are you not pleased with your employees’ level of productivity, endless excuses, and inefficient attitude towards work?

Do you hate your boss, colleagues and work environment?

Does your busy life keep you from finding time for yourself & your loved ones?

Do you wish to lose a few pounds, yet hate dieting or workouts?

Are you spiritual and wish to make time for prayer or meditation?

Are you a student pressured by homework, school or your teachers?

Are you a parent who is sick of arguing with your husband or teen?

If you find yourself in any of the above, then we can help you.

At Wisdom Within, we offer quality Life Coaching services that can help you get out of the rut, ‘choose’ the life you want to live, and be the person you want to be.

Life Coaching can turn your current problems into opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and fulfillment. Life Coaching can bring optimism back in your life, which can brighten up with soon-to-be possibilities that can make your journey more enjoyable, intentional and purposeful.

To better understand what coaching is, who is it for, and what it can offer you, please click here to watch an explanatory clip by Aileen Richardson.

If you like what you have heard and read so far, and would love to give coaching a try, please join us for your free trial session. We would love to hear from you.

Are We Living in a Toxic Culture?

Are We Living in a Toxic Culture?

Materialism

Are We Living in a Toxic Culture?

By Coach Razan Kilani, ICF-Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach

Artificial additives and hormones in foods and drinks, BPA in plastic-ware and famous brand clothes and shoes, aggressive video games and costumes, highly sexualized and violent media content, deadly radiation from electrical machines and devices we use on daily basis, toxic gases from detergents and some building elements in our home environment, air pollution, water pollution, soil pollution, and the list goes on. This may be the kind of culture we live in today. Yet, the sad truth is; just like there are external toxins that endanger our bodies, there are also toxic non-natural meanings and standards that have led us to gradually turn against our own true selves, and poison our – as well as our loved ones’- emotions and souls day by day. We constantly see ourselves (or them) as inadequate or inferior in one way or another.

Material culture has said it all: “You are what you eat, drink, do, and wear; who you are friends with; and where you live”. What and how much you consume defines your value. Therefore, in a materialistic society, the richer, more attractive and connected you are; the more successful, influential and lucky you are considered to be. Family, community, school, work, and the media are all fields that constantly tell us what is right and what is wrong, what is appropriate and what is not. This is how we started seeing that the majority of the people around the world strive daily to live up to such standards, and use this to demand respect and appreciation, in order for them not to be counted out of society.

In other words, we have learned from a young age that standards of what is acceptable and what is not, comes from outside, not inside. Therefore, while we are pleasing others externally, we have then been ignoring our own internal wants and needs, and thus have lost our true selves in pursuit of the acknowledgment of the people around us. Through our own high-tech devices (smart phones, iPads, computers, TVs, etc.), we heavily consume the material the media offers us. Yet, this material constantly bombards us with an imposed sense of ‘reality’.  Doing so, the media usually trends a ‘fear-based’ method when it comes to instructing us about what is right and wrong, so we would listen and follow better. Certainly, this has proven to be more profitable financially for the business that fuels the media we consume, but may not necessarily be useful to our own true sake.

Marketing plays a major role in our consistent dissatisfaction with what we have, and our dreamlike state of always wanting to be and act like someone else. As the documentary, The Story of Stuff, asks: “What is the point of an ad except to make us unhappy with what we have.” 

We have experts telling us all we need to know about the ‘right’ way to eat, drink, think, walk, and wear, yet we still feel clueless! This culture has definitely polished our Egos, but has definitely eroded our thinking from its own intellect and wisdom. We are beautifully dressed bodies living in immaculately designed homes, but our souls are not fulfilled. Unfortunately, that’s the legacy we are handing down to our kids, and the standards by which we have been judging them and dictating them to embody.

The main habit we have practiced repeatedly, as a result of the media exposure, is to listen to others’ opinions of how well we are doing. Yet, we barely stop to listen to what our souls have to say.

We can become our own solution-finder, if only we perfect the habit of looking “within” with true justice, and absolute humility. Our big never-satiated egos have been blown out of proportion, due to our exposure to this toxic media culture. Perfecting the habits that augment the ego, and ignores the soul, we have lost a great part of our truths. We can barely think for ourselves anymore, to face the real truth behind the consequences of our actions.

We have, therefore, gradually abandoned our much-needed awareness around our innermost needs, actual wants, and mission to align ourselves with our inner-voice and true calling. We have each been endowed with specific skills, knowledge and capabilities that best equip us to fulfill our individually assigned life purpose. Yet, instead of listening within, we have been constantly listening to those outside setting the standards for us to be like someone, achieve what someone else has done, and become, hence, someone other than our true selves.

Some of my clients have told me: “Sometimes people fear to get to know their true selves. They may not like what they may find out about themselves that is so dysfunctional!” With experience, I have realized that this was true. People ‘were’ detached from their inner selves, to a point where they did not know who they ‘truly’ were anymore. What kind of culture do we live in nowadays, whereby we are not given the green light to ‘look’ and ‘be’ the way we are?

What is so wrong about who we are that we constantly have to follow other externally imposed models? 

Self-detachment – coupled with the consistent need to cater to externally imposed standards and norms – have made it possible for money-driven companies to create Peer-Pressure syndrome, whereby one celebrity does something, the people worldwide do the same, and worse forcing their kids into this copy-cat culture.

Never before in history have humans been ‘watchers’ instead of ‘doers’. Things and people look great on the outside, yet contain extremely toxic and self-destructive feelings and thoughts on the inside.

Have humans stopped living meaningfully?

People have developed a false conviction that they have owned life, only to discover later that they have deluded themselves into living up to a fake and imposed image, status, or position to which they feel entitled, i.e. living by their egos only.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says in his movie, The Shift: “One of the things that happen when you move away from ego, you move from a sense of entitlement, to a sense of humility. You realize you are entitled to nothing. That is just the ego speaking.” He adds that the ego is your false self. When you’re defending it, you are defending an illusion. “Your authentic self is way beyond this ego”.

Know Yourself Says Socrates

Self-loathing, self-guilt, low self-esteem and self-confidence, self-criticism are common diseases of the heart people suffer from these days. If a person acknowledges and embraces his own true self, he can experience the bright light of confidence shining from inside out. Getting to know your real self, what it wants and feels is the ultimate destination of fulfillment and authentic happiness, which consequently results in sky-rocketing levels of self-confidence, self-trust, self-appreciation, self-acceptance and self-approval. This also gets reflected on the outside, whereby you too start trusting and accepting others for ‘who’ they truly are, as opposed to judging them by the same standards that internally tortured you in the past. During the day, most of us see some matters as ‘big deal’, then by the end of the day, we notice they were not significant. “What was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie” (Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Shift)

At the end of the day, the choice is yours over the way you truly feel, think and act. The people who have installed concepts and beliefs in you are not always with you, but you are with yourself the entire time. So listen to what you think, want and feel. Be brave and embrace your own truth and who you are, and work out your life from there. While doing so, be gentle to those outside of you, as they too suffer from their own internal battles. Making wise decisions that align with who you are, leads to self-empowerment. We do matter after all. Furthermore, our needs are not dictated by the media and society, but rather through what we deeply feel and yearn for. So how about you adopt a new strategy from now on? Listen to yourself, how you feel and what you truly think of things. Soon, you will realize a gradual yet firm contrast between your old ways of living, and the new You living the life that makes you really happy. 

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Interview with Professional Life Coach, Ms. Razan Kilani

Interview With Professional Life Coach Razan Kilani

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We met this week with Life Coach, Ms. Razan Kilani. Tremendous wisdom, knowledge and enthusiasm are beautifully combined and narrated with her unique “easy-yet-sophisticated” style. Coach Razan- as known by her coachees – has helped many individuals (aged 10-65 years) to overcome their problems and limitations to achieving happiness in their lives. Her work has covered diverse topics, such as Emotional Divorce, motherhood, raising children, constructive communication, anger, marital problems, low self-confidence and self-esteem, positive thinking, starting over after ordeals optimistically and persevering successfully, and enhancing your sense of satisfaction in life, regardless of available circumstances. She has published articles about Life Coaching and some of its challenges.

Coach Razan received her Masters’ degree in Cultural and Media Studies in the United Kingdom, then she worked in Advertising, Marketing and Public Relations. Following that, she began her fulfilling journey by becoming a Certified Emotional Intelligence (EI) Trainer by Six Seconds (US), and offering EI trainings for individuals and companies. Later, she completed her professional training and became a fully Certified Life Coach, accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF). She has long been a thorough researcher in the fields of Positive Thinking, as well as Emotional and Spiritual intelligence. Coach Razan has offered individual and group coaching workshops for women from different societal backgrounds, as well as teenagers.

 

Coach Razan has specifically chosen mothers as the target of her trainings, as she believes that the mother is the light of every home, like the sun, around which everyone in the family revolved. If the mother feels happy, strong and stable, tranquility prevails in the house, as well as emotional stability and compassion, amongst all family members. However, if the mother feels unhappy or insecure, this gets reflected on the rest of the family, who may end up suffering from anxiety, anger, confusion and constant screaming.
Coach Razan says that there are two mottos that inspire her in life; one is a Chinese proverb that says: “Instead of cursing the darkness, light one candle”. The other one says: “What does it take for Evil to spread in the world, for good people to do nothing.” Coach Razan explains that as a result of the socio-cultural heritage, ‘good’ people have been stereotypically portrayed as ‘weak’. Additionally, we often see good people who feel they do not belong to a wrongful society. Therefore, they do not see any significance to their role in life, and in achieving the balance between Good and Evil, justice and injustice, production and consumption in the world. They generally feel isolated and suffer from a poor will power. However, this is what seems to envelope the kind of civil societies we live in nowadays, where a person feels cut off from the rest of the world, and his main window onto it is his phone, computer, or TV.

Especially in cities, where electric machines save time and effort on their users, we find that a lot of people lack patience to fulfill their desires (eating, shopping, prolonged relaxation (laziness), love, ego and showing off). Due to their lack of internal motivation, they generally tend to wait for circumstances to change by themselves that would culminate in the arrival of some sort of Savior that will put an end to their woes (chaos, boredom and obesity), and grant them support that will enable them to achieve their long-awaited goals in life (feel satisfaction and happiness). Happiness does not happen by itself. Rather, we attain it upon challenging the obstacles in the way to fulfilling our dreams. This also applies to losing excessive weight, overcoming divorce, ending laziness, and filling our emotional and spiritual emptiness, etc.

Coach Razan hopes to inspire as many individuals as possible to effectively fulfill their roles in life, and to be kind to one another, which in turn shall dissolve their self-love into the love of giving, perfecting their duties, and pursuing mastery in everything they do. This includes the different aspects in their lives: Marital relationships, work, continuous learning, parenting and establishing good rapport with their fellow community members.

 

Coach Razan says: If every person lights his own internal candle, he will in turn inspire everyone around him to light their own inner candles. This way, we can gradually create a society that is more enlightened and less dark. God has created every one of us unique and different from the others, and so each one of us has his or her distinct purpose to fulfill in life.

To contact Ms. Razan Al-Kilani:razan-kilani

Facebook: Wisdom Within Consultancy,

http://www.wisdomwithinconsultancy.com
Wisdomwithinconsultancy@yahoo.ca

مقابلة مع أخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، كوتش رزان الكيلاني

مقابلة مع أخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، كوتش رزان الكيلاني

الرئيسية » مقابلات » مقابلة مع أخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، كوتش رزان الكيلاني
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مقابلة مع أخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، كوتش رزان الكيلاني

مقابلة مع أخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، كوتش رزان الكيلاني razan-kilani

 التقينا في هذا الأسبوع بأخصائية التدريب على مهارات الحياة، السيدة رزان الكيلاني. كم هائل من الحكمة والعلم والحماسة معاً تسرده لنا بأسلوبها المتميز، “السهل الممتنع”. “كوتش رزان” – كما يعرفها متدربوها–  ساعدت العديد من الأفراد (ما بين عمر 10 – 65 عاماً) على التغلب على مشاكلهم والتخلص من معيقات السعادة لديهم، ما شمل مواضيع متعددة كالطلاق العاطفي، الأمومة والتربية، والتواصل البناء، والغضب والمشاكل الزوجية، وكيفية البدء من جديد بتفاؤل بعد محنة والاستمرار بنجاح، وتدني مستوى الثقة بالنفس واحترام الذات، والتفكير بإيجابية، وتحسين مستوى الرضا عن حياة الفرد بغض النظر عن معطياتها. لها مقالات منشورة حول التدريب على مهارات الحياة وبعض تحدياتها.  

تلقت تعلميها في المملكة المتحدة حيث حصلت على درجة الماجستير في الإعلام والدراسات الحضارية، ثم عملت في مجال الدعاية والإعلان والعلاقات العامة، ومن ثم بدأت مشوارها في مجال التدريب على تنمية الذكاء العاطفي لدى الأفراد والشركات، حيث أصبحت مدربة مرخصة في الذكاء العاطفي من مؤسسة سيكس سكندز في أمريكا، ثم مدربة مرخصة على مهارات الحياة من اتحاد مدربي الحياة الدولي في أمريكا. كما أنها باحثة متعمقة في مجالات التفكير الإيجابي والذكاء الروحي والذكاء العاطفي. قدمت جلسات جماعية وفردية للنساء من مختلف الأوضاع الاجتماعية وكذلك المراهقين. وتخص كوتش رزان الأمهات في تدريباتها، لإيمانها التام بأن الأم هي شمس البيت والتي يدور حولها بقية أفراد الأسرة. فإذا كانت سعيدة وقوية ومستقرة، سادت السكينة والاستقرار العاطفي والرحمة بين أفراد الأسرة. وإذا كانت تعيسة أو مهزوزة، فنرى أن بقية أفراد يعانون من القلق النفسي أو الغضب والفوضى والصراخ المستمر.   

تقول كوتش رزان أن هناك حكمتان تحفزانها دوماً في الحياة، وهما حكمة صينية تقول: “بدلاً من أن تلعن الظلام، أضئ شمعة”. وأخرى تقول: “ماذا يتطلب لكي يعم الشر في العالم؟ ألا يفعل الأخيار أي شيء.” توضح الكوتش رزان بأنه نتاج الموروث الثقافي والاجتماعي أنه تم تصوير الأخيار باستمرار بالضعفاء. كما أننا كثيراً ما نرى أفراد صالحين لا يشعرون بانتمائهم للمجتمع، وبالتالي لا يرون أهمية لأدوارههم في الحياة، وفي معادلة كفة الميزان بين الخير والشر، والعدل والظلم، والانتاجية والاستهلاكية في العالم. إذ أن لديهم شعوراً بالانعزالية وضعف الإرادة. وهذا ما يسود مجتمعاتنا المدنية التي تعزل الشخص عن العالم ويصبح الهاتف أو الحاسوب أو التلفاز نافذته على العالم. في المدن تحديداً، حيث توفر الآلات الجهد والوقت على مستخدميها، نجد أن الكثير من الناس ضعفاء في مهارة الصبر على  تحقيق الرغبات (تناول الطعام، والتسوق، والحب، والراحة غير المتقطعة، وحب الظهور أو حب الأنا، الخ) وينتظرون جميعاً أن تشاء الظروف ويأتي مخلص (نظراً لانعدام الدافع الداخلي لديهم) يخرجهم مما هم فيه من الضياع والملل والسمنة، ويساعدهم على تحقيق أهدافهم في الحياة والشعور بالرضا والسعادة. فالسعادة لا تأتي ونحن نحلم بها بل عندما نتحدى  المعيقات في طريقنا. وهذا ينطبق على المواضيع مثل فقدان الوزن الزائد والطلاق العاطفي والكسل والفراغ العاطفي والروحي، الخ.  

وتأمل رزان أن تحفز الأفراد على أن يقوم كل بدوره في الحياة بشكل فاعل والإحسان للآخرين، حيث يذوب حب الذات لدى انغماسنا في العطاء الخيّر والعمل بإتقان والسعي للإتقان في كل ما نعمل، وهذا يشمل أدوارنا الحياتية: في العلاقة الزوجية والعمل والتعلم المستمر وتربية الأبناء والتعامل مع بقية أفراد المجتمع. تقول رزان: إذا أضاء الفرد شمعته الداخلية، فإنه سيلهم من حوله لإضاءة شموعهم أيضاً، وهكذا نحصل تدريجياً على مجتمع أكثر نوراً وعلماً وأقل ظلاماً. كل واحد منا خلقه الله متميزاً عن غيره، وله دوره المهم  في الحياة. 

للانجليزية اضغط هنا:

:For English click here

http://en.arabwomanmag.com/interview-with-professional-life-coach-ms-razan-kilani/

 

كيف نُفسد أطفالنا؟

كيف نُفسد أطفالنا ؟

بقلم السيّدة رزان الكيلاني، مُدرِّبة مهارات الحياة المُؤَهَّلة من اتِّحاد مُدرِّبي الحياة الدوليّ. 

قد تدورُ العناوين المُعتادة حول كيفيّة تعليم أطفالنا مهارات معيَّنة، أو التعامل معَ طباعهم الصعبة أحيانًا، أو مُعالجة تحديِّات التربية أو التعامل معَ المراهقين. ولكنِّي ارتأيْتُ أنْ أختارَ عنوانًا غالبًا ما يغفل عنه الأهل، إلّا أنّه شائع أكثر ممَّا نعتقدُ. لا أكتبُ عن كيفيِّة تعليم الأهل أطفالَهم مهارات معيَّنة. ولكنِّي أريدُ تسليطَ الضَّوْءِ على ما يفعلُه الأهل، والذي يؤدِّي إلى إفسادِ أبنائهم إفسادًا بالغًا، وذلك مِن خلال إحاطتهم باستمرار بالحماية الزائدة وتوفير الجهد عليهم بتلبية رغباتهم لهم، دون بذلهم الجهد المطلوب للحصول عليها. وأيضًا الدَّلال المُفرط الذي يتمثَّلُ بالمُبالغة في تلبية رغباتهم والسعي الدائم وغير المنطقيِّ أحيانًا لإرضائهم، بدون حدود.

 

تسأَلُني العديد مِن الأمَّهات يوميًّا عن تفسيرات لتصرُّفات أطفالهم التي تُؤَرِّقُهُمْ وتجعلُ مِن الصعب عليهم التعامل معهم. أَسْتَمِعُ إليهم بينما أراقبُ وجوهَهم التي تعتريها الدهشة والحيرة، وكأنّما تربيتهم لأطفالهم كانتْ مِن المفروض أنْ تسيرَ بمنحًى أفضل مِن ذلك. ومِن بعض التصرُّفات المُزعجة التي يشتكي منها الأهل هي الأنانيّة والفوقيّة تجاه أقرانهم والعجرفة والقسوة والنقد الجارح والتطلُّب المستمِرُّ وعدم تقديرهم لتضحيات ذويهم لتوفير مُتطلّبات الدراسة والحياة لهم. وهذه كلُّها مؤشِّرات على تدنِّي الذكاء العاطفيّ لديهم. بِتُّ أرى الإخوة في المنزل الواحد يعيشُ كلٌّ منهم بمعزل ذهنيّ وعاطفيّ عن الآخر وعن الوالدين. كما يكثرُ بينهم السِّباب والصِّراخ والصِّراع. ثم يَلْجَؤُونَ للوالدين كحَكَم فصل للنِّزاع؛ نظرًا لافتقارهم الحادِّ لمهارات التعاطف بين بعضهم البعض، ومشاعر التراحم والتعاطف كوسائل طبيعية وإيجابيّة لفضِّ أيِّ إشكاليّة بينهم. كما أنَّ الكبير لم يَعُدْ يعتبرُ نفسه القدوة لمن يَصْغُرُهُ سنًّا في المنزل. بل باتَ يزدادُ اختيالًا ولُؤْمًا أنّه هو الأكبر بينَهم، لِذا هو يَسْتَحِقُّ التَّفرُّدَ بألعابه وأغراضه الفخمة بعيدًا عن الصغار بحُجَّة خوفه مِن تحطيمِهم لها. وإنْ فَكَّرَ الصغير بتقليد أخيه أو أخته الكبرى ولَمْسِ بعض أشيائه، فالويل له، حيث لا يتردَّدُ الكبير بتوجيه الرَّدِّ الرادع له المُؤلم نفسيًّا أو جسديًّا، دونَ أدنى مشاعر الرّأفة تجاهه، أو حتّى استيعاب أنَّ إخوته يريدونَ أنْ يلعبُوا معه فقط. فتراه هو يُكَرِّهُهُمْ بنفسه عن قصدٍ؛ لكي يبتعدوا عن مساحته الشخصيّة.

 

أصبحَ نادرًا أنْ نرى الكبير يُحِبُّ قضاء الوقت باللعب معَ أخيه أو أخته الصغيرة. كما فُقِدَ الحوارُ بين الإخوة وسادَتِ الأنانيَّة والتباغض بينهم. فالدَّلالُ الزائد يَزِيدُ مِن شعورهم بتفرُّدِهم عنْ غيرهم، وَيُعَظِّمُ تمحورهم حول “الأنا” لديهم، ويَهْدِمُ رغبتهم في تطوير مهاراتهم العاطفيّة والاجتماعيّة، كالإحسان لبعضهم البعض. وفي ظِلِّ هذا الدَّلالِ الزائد لكلٍّ مِن الأبناء، أصبحَ تواجدُ الأمِّ بينهم طوال الوقت ضرورة؛ لِئَلّا يؤذيَ بعضهم الآخر.

 

أرى أُمَّهاتٍ يُقَدِّمْنَ قصارى جهودهن لتلبية جميع رغبات أطفالهن وإرضائهم باستمرار، في أيِّ وقت مِن النهار أو المساء. وَتُعَلِّمُ الأُمُّ –ومنذُ الطفل الأوَّل– أطفالها الاعتماديّة التّامّة عليها، حتّى في أبسط الأمور، كاختيار ملابسهم حتّى عندما يكبُرُونَ، وفي الإصلاح بين الأطفال إذا ما دَبَّ الشجار بينهم.

 

بالمُقابل، أرى أبناءَهن  دائمي الشكوى والصراخ والغضب، مع أنَّني لدى استماع تضحيات الأمَّهات، أَسْتَعْجِبُ أينَ اخْتَفَتْ قيمُ احترام الوالدين، وَتَجَنُّبِ عقوقهم التي تَرَبَّيْنا عليها كلُّنا في الماضي. كما أنّني أرى تدنِّيَ تحصيلهم العلميّ وَتَشَتُّتَ انتباههم بينَ عالم الواقعِ وعالمِ الإلكترونيّات الافتراضيّ، واستبدالهم ما لا يَنْفَعُهُمْ في الواقع والمستقبل بما هو أهمُّ. غالبًا ما تقولُ لي الأُمَّهات: جِيلُ هذه الأيّام لا يَقْدِرُ ولا يَسْتَوْعِبُ الجهود المبذولة في سبيل سعادتهم ونجاحهم. نَحْرِقُ دَمَنا ونحنُ نَشْرَحُ لهم أهميَّة إنهائهم دراسَتَهم، بينما لا يَكْتَرِثُونَ هم بأيٍّ مِن هذا، بل وَيَعتقدونَ أنَّ بإمكانهم العيش دونَ تعليم، وهم في غُرَفِهِم يُضَيِّعُونَ وقتهم في لعب ألعاب الفيديو ومشاهدة الأفلام والسَّهر لساعات مُتَأّخِّرَةٍ ليلًا.

  

أَرى أُمَّهاتٍ وآباءً بِنِيَّةٍ حسنة يشترُونَ لأطفالهم ما لَذَّ وطابَ، وما تشتهي أنفسهم مِن ألبسة وألعاب. قد نُسَمِّي ذلك حُبًّا أو كَرَمًا، والنتيجة المُتوقَّعة هي أنْ يُبادِلَ الأبناء ذويهم الحِنيَّة ذاتها. إلّا أنَّ ما يحدثُ معظَمَ الوقت هو المزيد مِن الجُحود (عدم التقدير) وانعدام القناعة والشعور بالغضب الدائم على الوالدين. وَهُنا، أَتَيْتُ على رؤية الشراء الزائد والإرضاء المبالغ فيه لرغبات هؤلاء الأطفال، وعدم وضع قوانينَ تُمَكِّنُهُم مِن كَسْبِ هذه العطايا فقط لدى إتمامهم مهامَّ معينة مُسْنَدَةً إليهم، أو عندما فقط يكونونَ جديرينَ بها، على أنَّه دلالٌ زائد، يعكسُ نقصًا  في وعيِ الأهلِ بنتائج هذا التَّصرُّف.

  

ونوعٌ آخرُ مِن الأهل أَلْمَسُ وقعه من خلال احتكاك المراهقين والأطفال الذين أَتَعامَلُ معهم، وهذا النوع من الأمَّهات والآباء لا يُرَبُّونَ أطفالهم فعليًّا، وإنما ينشغلونَ عنهم داخل المنزل أو خارجه. وَيَتَّسِمُ هذا النَّوْعُ مِن الأهل بسرعة الانفعال والانشغال الدائم بأمورهم -وببرامجهم إن كانوا بالمنزل- وعدم الرغبة بالتعامل مع الأبناء أو تهذيبهم. بالمُقابل، يَشْتَرُونَ راحةَ بالهم بتلبية مُتَطَلَّبات أطفالهم غير المُتناهية، مِن الهواتف الذكيّة والحاسوب والتلفاز في غرف نومهم… أيًّا كانَ، فقط لِيُبْقُوهُم بعيدينَ عنهم، وَيَتَفَرَّغُ كلٌّ مِن الأمِّ والأبِ كلٌّ لِعالَمه الافتراضيّ.

أصبحْتُ أَرَى أنَّ الشراء المسْتمرَّ باتَ يُحَسِّنُ صورة الأهل أمام أنفسهم وأمام الآخرين؛ لِحرصهم ألّا يظهرَ طفلهم على أنّه الوحيد بينَ أقرانه مِمَّنْ يمتلكونَ شيئًا هو لا يمتلكُه. كما أنّه قد يكونُ الأسلوب الأسهل للتعامل معَ نوبات الغضب لدى الأبناء إذا لم تَتِمَّ تلبية رغباتهم. كما أنَّ تركَهم يقضونَ معظم أوقاتهم داخل عالمهم الافتراضيّ (من خلال الهواتف الذكيّة والتابلت والألعاب الإلكترونيّة والخَلَويّات)، واصطحابهم معهم في كلِّ مكان (حتّى إلى المدرسة وفي الباص على الطريق بين المدرسة والمنزل)، ليعفي الأهل من قضاء الوقت النوعي معهم بصبر وهدوء أعصاب وحنيّة، والتعامل اليوميّ مَعَ التَّحدِّيات التي تُؤَرِّقُهُم، ومتابعة تصرُّفاتهم وتوجيههم بهدفِ تَنْشِئَتِهِمْ تنشئة نفسيّة روحانية سليمة (أقصدُ غير ماديّة).

 

كما أَنَّني وَجْدَتُ أنَّ استهلاكَ الأطفال -بل وجميع أفراد الأسرة لقنوات الإعلام وبرامجها باستخدام جميع الأجهزة الإلكترونيّة المُتاحة- وكذلك انتشار المناهج الدوليّة المُبهرة في المدارس، باتَ يُطَوِّرُ مهارات الأطفال في التفكير والإبداع وتكوينِ آرائهم الشخصيّة مِن جهة (وهذا رائع)، إلّا أنّها لا تَزْرَعُ فيهم قيمَ المُجتمع العربيّ الأصيلة وتراثه الأخلاقيّ، ككرم النّفس، والتضحية، واحترام الصغير للكبير، وحنيّة الكبير على الصغير، والحرص الدائم على رضا الوالدين وخفضِ جناح الذُّلِّ لهم مِن الرحمة وتقدير جهودهم. ونتيجةَ سَطْوِ الإعلام الماديّ الترفيهيّ على منظومة الأخلاقيّات الإنسانيّة والمجتمعيّة التي تربِط الطفل بمجتمعه، أصبح الطفلُ يشعرُ بقيمته مِن خلال جمالِ شكلِه ومُقتنياته والمغامرات المشاكسة التي يقومُ بها، والتي يَسْتَعْرِضُها بينَ الفيْنَة والأخرى من خلال الواجهات الإلكترونيّة، التي يُطِلُّ ظِلُّهُ الافتراضيّ المُهندم مِن خلالها على الآخرين ليَمْلأهم دهشة وغيظة أحيانًا. وهكذا يعيشُ الفرد منذُ صغر سِنِّهِ أسيرَ توقُّعات الآخرينَ وإدمانه على أخذِ رأيِهم فيما يأكلُ وَيَلْبَسُ والصور التي يَلْتَقِطُها لنفسه ويعرِضُها لهم. وهذا يجعلُ شخصيّة أطفالنا هشّة ورهينة برضا الآخرينَ، ونتركهم فريسة سهلة لِتَنَمُّرِ مَن يَسوى ولا يَسوى عليهم وهدم صِحتهم النفسيّة والعاطفيّة.

 

وهنا نسألُ أنفسنا: هل نَتْرُكُ أطفالنا يستهلكونَ الإعلام الترفيهيّ الذي لا يُسْمِنُ ولا يُغني مِن جوع الروح إلى الحاجة إلى الاستقرار والاستقلاليّة في التفكير والشعور، وبناء ثقتهم بأنفسهم بنفسهم وإيمانهم بأهميّة حياتهم لوعيهم بمواهبهم ومهاراتهم؟!

 

يا أيُّها الوالِدانِ، أَلَا تَرَوْنَ صلة وثيقة بين تَصرُّفات أبنائكما معكما والدَّلالَ والحمايةَ الزائدتيْنِ اللتيْنِ تُحيطانهم بها؟ لديكما دائمًا الخيار: السعيُ وراء إرضائهم بلا جدوى؛ (لأنَّني لاحظْتُ أنّ كثرة الدَّلالِ لا تُعَلِّمُ الأبناء الامتنان ولكنْ عدم القناعة)، أو وَضْعُ قوانين منزليّة واضحة تُبَيِّنُ كيفيّة حصولِ الأبناء على ما يُريدونه بعد إثباتهم استحقاقَهم له، وهذا يشملُ منعَ الصراخ والسباب والعنف اللفظيّ والمعنويّ بين جميع أفراد الأسرة، وضرورة الامتنان والتقدير، وقيم الجدارة والمثابرة والصبر والمساعدة والتراحم والتعاطف بينهم؛ لكي يكونوا كأعمدة بُنيانٍ رصين يقفُ في وجه تحديّات الحياة. وهكذا ندعمُهم لرفعِ مستوى الذكاء العاطفيّ والاجتماعيّ لديهم، وَنُقَوِّي ثقتهم بأنفسهم، وَنُحَسِّنُ أداءَهم الدراسيّ وعلاقاتهم داخل المنزل وخارجه.

 

للاتِّصال بالسَّيِّدةِ رزان الكيلاني:

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When The Boss Burns Out

When The Boss Burns Out

burned out bosses article

A recent article in the Washington Post asked whether your boss was making you sick.

Having spent more than seven years in the legal profession, I can recount numerous examples of bad bosses, one of my favorites being the person who started swearing and got so angry that veins were popping out because I didn’t put two documents in a binder in the right order.

Bad bosses’ ripple effect

As the Washington Post article references, bad bosses come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from being a micromanager to hypercritical, like the one I experienced, to completely clueless and beyond.  I have long wondered why companies ignore the ripple effect that bad bosses create within an organization, making employees feel everything from inferior to physically sick, and feel ambivalent about flushing tens of millions of dollars and more down the drain in absenteeism, lost productivity, and turnover costs.

While it’s no doubt that bad bosses are toxic, I want to explore a different question.  What if your boss is burned out?  According to a Wall Street Journal article, a recent Harvard Medical School study revealed that 96% of senior leaders reported feeling burned out on some level, with one-third describing their burnout as extreme.

Disease of Disengagement

I often describe burnout as a disease of disengagement.  The effects of burnout cause high achievers to unplug – at work, at home, and with regard to activities that once provided a sense of joy.

Fast Company recently reported that the Deloitte Global Human Capital Trends report showed that 79% of business and HR leaders worldwide believe they have a significant engagement problem in their organizations. To further support the fact that many employees are feeling disengaged, Gallup’s State of the American Workplace Report – 2013 revealed that approximately 70% of workers are disengaged.

Companies are in need of effective tools to help their managers and executives prevent burnout, but given that many executives in Corporate America are men, it’s important for companies to understand the gender differences associated with the way burnout is processed.

Dimensions of burnouts

disengagement burnoutOne study in particular assessed the prevalence of burnout in male and female physicians (general practitioners, specifically) using the three factor Maslach Burnout Inventory which examines the following dimensions of burnout:

Exhaustion:  Feeling emotionally exhausted, depleted, and a loss of energy.

Cynicism:  Having a negative attitude toward clients and those you work with, feeling irritable, and withdrawing from people and activities you once enjoyed.

Inefficacy:  Experiencing diminished personal accomplishment, a perceived decline in competence or productivity, and expending energy at work without seeing any results.

This study found that men and women process these burnout dimensions differently.  Women experienced exhaustion first, followed by cynicism, then inefficacy – they didn’t think they were being effective care providers so they stopped to evaluate.

The men, on the other hand, tended to experience cynicism first, then exhaustion.  Interestingly, many of the men in the study kept practicing because they didn’t feel as though the symptoms from the first two stages impacted the quality of care they provided.  They didn’t reach the inefficacy stage because they thought they were still being effective.

I find this telling because the Wall Street Journal article focused largely on male CEO’s, with each of them describing wanting to “power through” their stress with one leader saying, “If you want to be a real leader, you can’t go around being emotionally erratic.”  Another CEO said he felt like he was “running in place” but hesitated to call his condition “burnout.”

Preventing a burnout

Clearly, social stigma and a leader’s personal beliefs impact whether or not he or she seeks help for burnout or even understands its warning signs.   Companies can help their employees at ALL levels prevent burnout by doing two things:

  1. Train employees to build their levels of resilience (the ability to bounce back and grow and thrive during challenge, change and stress); and
  2. Focus on ways to help employees build engagement (helping employees “plug in” to work and activities that are sources of energy).

For additional burnout prevention strategies, take a look at my Psychology Today article called, “7 Strategies to Prevent Burnout.”  Bad bosses are no good for business, but it’s important to at least consider whether the boss needs a break from burnout.


Paula Davis-LaackPaula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP, is the Founder and CEO of the Davis Laack Stress & Resilience Institute, a practice devoted to helping busy professionals prevent burnout and build resilience.

To learn more about Paula’s work, please visit www.pauladavislaack.com.

Resources:

Leiter, M.P., & Maslach, C. (2005). Banishing burnout: Six strategies for improving your relationship with work.  San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M.P. (1997). The truth about burnout: How organizations cause personal stress and what to do about it.  San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

What Is Worth Our Time, Energy, Emotions and Attention?

Today, I came across an interesting email, and thought it was worth sharing.

What is worth our time, energy, emotions and attention? When do we draw the line between what we’ve got to do and what we want to do?

What happened to 8 wealthiest people in the world?

“In 1923, Eight of the wealthiest people in the world met. Their combined wealth, estimated, exceeded the wealth of the government of the United States. These men knew how to make a living and accumulate wealth.
25 years later.

1. President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died bankrupt.

2. President of the largest gas company, Howard Hubson, went insane.

3. One of the greatest commodity traders, Arthur Cutton, died insolvent.

4. President of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, was sent to jail.

5. A member of the President’s Cabinet, Albert Fall, was pardoned from jail.

6. The greatest “bear” on Wall Street, Jessie Livermore, committed suicide.

7. President of the world’s greatest monopoly, Ivar Krueger, committed suicide.

8. President, Bank of International Settlement, Leon Fraser, committed suicide.

They forgot to make a life ! Just made Money !

Money provides food for the hungry, medicine for the sick, clothes for the needy, but is only a medium of exchange.

We need two kinds of education.

One that teaches us how to make a living and one that teaches us how to live.

People are engrossed in their professional life and neglect their family, health and social responsibilities.

Our kids are sleeping when we leave home.
They are sleeping when we come home.
Twenty years later, we’ll turn back, and they’ll all be gone !!!!!.

Without water, a ship cannot move.
The ship needs water, but if the water gets into the ship, the ship will face problems and sink.

Similarly we live in a time where earning is a necessity but let not the earning enter our hearts, for what was once a means of living will be become a means of destruction.

So take a moment and ask yourself….

Has the water entered my ship?”

We Are Consciousness