Why Do We Wait For An Expert To Tell Us The Answers We Already Know

I have never thought of this particular topic until I’ve had some interesting recent experiences, during which I realized that people revere experts (doctors, therapists, priests, etc.) to a great extent that they constantly seek their advice, opinion or consultancy.

On TV, the radio, the internet, etc., we are bombarded by advice from all sorts and types. Some of it is even based on gender. Furthermore, most  – if not all – of us may know at least one friend who sees a therapist, a doctor or a consultant on a frequent pattern.

Why are we constantly looking ‘out there’ for advice, as opposed to establishing a daily routine, whereby one connects to him/herself, and delve into its depths, questioning what goes on inside there?

Why is it that we accept standards shown to us on street banners and posters, tv, the internet, etc. and not set our own?

Why do we care more about how we sound than about what we really wish to say?

Even though experts really sound impressive, everyone knows what really aches them in life, in their bodies, hearts, etc. So why are we constantly driven to listen to what experts have to say about us, when we – first and foremost – know what is it that we need?

Whereas some experts’ jobs includes giving feedback or voicing out their opinion, a coach’s job is one where a client gets to talk more than the expert listening to him. The expert – when feels necessary to give feedback – would ask first for the client’s permission to do so, as an indication that a coach’s opinion in the client is not an essential element in the coaching relationship.

In coaching, it is believed that every person is their own doctor or healer. Every person has the ability to recognize the type of pain and its cure.  What is really needed is a good thorough reflection into one’s own life, mind and heart, and then the answers start materializing before one’s own eyes.

On the other hand, just as helpful and powerful coaching can be to many individuals, some people may jeopardize an entire coaching relationship just to sound ‘right’, ‘cool’, ‘smart’, etc. This usually derives from perceiving important things in a shallow way, which results in missing out on the great learning opportunities they offer.

Being honest with ourselves is the first key to connecting with oneself and one’s inner wisdom, which usually guides one towards what they really want and where truly wish to go. If we block this innate and miraculous ability, we become vulnerable and shaky, driven with any wind that passes our way.

It’s important to keep asking ourselves: Who is making my life decisions? Is it really me?

If not, it is time for one to connect truly and honestly with oneself and honor all the learnings that originate from there, despite of how painful it may be. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll eventually be following a path of your own choice and liking.


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