Much To Learn From Others

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Often times I find myself in awe of other people’s ideas, thoughts and deeds. It happens always through conversating with them or hearing about their actions from someone else. I feel humbled when I suddenly sense their greatness, and at the same time, I feel this strong power inside of me attracting me to talk to them further or even to introduce myself to them, if they are people I had heard about from others.

There is a certain connection that is immediately established as you identify a certain doing or saying that appeals to you as ‘great’, ‘generous’ or ‘virtuous’. Maybe it is God’s way of showing you that there is so much that you can learn from other people, and that – despite all the darkness happening in the world – there is greatness still in these people’s hearts and souls.

I have learned from my late father to do good deeds and never expect a return for them. He identified that as ‘virtuous’, meanwhile I always saw it as naive, unconvincing and unfair. I later realized that to give something and expect something for it in return, is about oneself and not about helping others. Therefore, we may be doing the deed for a need in our hearts to feel proud, great or better than others. On the other hand, it takes a really generous soul and a powerful mind to be able to give, nurture and provide without expecting a return. It is so powerful to be able to generate strength from within, to the extent that you are not in need of other people’s approval or admiration.

When I achieved this realization, I challenged myself to try to adapt it and follow it in my daily life. I gradually discovered how difficult it was, especially when I realized that the return may take time to come to me, like catering unconditionally to a child’s needs until he gets old enough to fulfill them by him/ herself. Again, and through practicing mindfulness, I have trained myself to step by step not expect a return for a good deed that I did. Soon, my actions started to seem sweeter, more energizing and self-motivating. I found that the more I helped others, the more life was worth living. I would feel immediately filled with passion and emotion to lead a life that is meaningful, purposeful and great.

Listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer say that prior to any of his presentations, he always prayed to God saying repeatedly: “How may I serve?” He said that this drove ego outside of him. I realized later that when we lead a life with ego, we can easily get hurt, simply by expecting to have a return worthy of this ego that we carry.

Later, I came across coaching and noticed that being a coach meant helping others for a living. It seems impossible for me to charge others for the help I was offering them. Soon I came across the fact that being a coach is a noble job that has a very noble cause. It is a job worthy of my time, effort and energy. It was destined to gain personal benefit in the end. The monetary return would come as a result of that effort that I was doing. Money in itself became a tool and not a destination for me anymore; a tool that I used to pay my bills, yet feeling energized while working in a job that involved helping other people professionally.

Earlier in my life, I had come to the conclusion that working to get my paycheck at the end of the month was unsatisfying, even if it paid the bills. I have realized that wasn’t enough for me. It wasn’t fulfilling anymore. That is why I have sought to make a major career shift from Public Relations and the Media into Coaching and Emotional Intelligence coaching.

Life and time are big privileges, and I believe we are to be held accountable for them in the end, so why not harness them in a job that is worthy of them. A doctor heals the body but a coach can heal the soul. Both are noble jobs, but a doctor wouldn’t feel bad charging people large sums of money, so why would a coach feel that way? These were the thoughts that motivated me to move on in my coaching practice, especially that I have noticed that when people pay for coaching, they are more likely to commit to achieving their goals, and take coaching seriously.

Now that the mental block around taking up coaching as a full time job has dissipated, I have become more energized to really listen to my clients. I have learned so much from them about myself, about life and about other people, who shared similar personality traits and ideas.

People are so great, even those with negative ideas. You always have so much to learn from others, particularly  children. This makes you feel even more curious to learn some more from them and about them. You start to genuinely care about their welfare, and you are not just offering help or support to get a paycheck at the end of the month, but rather, enjoying your job (as it is a representation of who you really are) and gaining new friendships.

Life becomes so worthwhile and your trust in people grows. I think there are many destructive actions that rob us this faith in others, such as:

– Watching and reading news, especially if you don’t believe that what you are hearing or reading is designed and shaped in a particular form for a particular purpose.

– Comparing oneself to others, particularly around superficial matters, like beauty, physical appearance (clothes,body measures, accessories), financial status, popularity, success at work, power, etc.

– Self-criticism and fear of opening oneself to others. The act of not being satisfied with oneself yet seeing others as untrustworthy.

– Being completely oblivious (as opposed to feeling grateful) to one’s life blessings, due to being busy or preoccupied by other worries most of the time.

Life gains meaning when we allow our spiritual self (true self) to shine through the actions we choose to make in this lifetime that we got. So be mindful of what you do and say to yourself and to others. You always have the choice to either be a savior or a wrecker, a nurturer or a consumer, a friend or an enemy, etc.  All of these bear consequences in your and other people’s lives. So be mindful of what legacy you are leaving behind.

In love and peace.

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